I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
