It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
