Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
