Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
