Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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