I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Randomize
