Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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