i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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