my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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