take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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