she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
