So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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