I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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