he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize