Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
