Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
