I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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