your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
