How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
