My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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