I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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