Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
