the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
