Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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