i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's blow job season.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
