also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize