why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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