He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
