dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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