Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
