Dual....:-)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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