what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
