dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
