Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
