If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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