Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
