its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
