his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
