I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
