Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
