he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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