OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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