My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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