so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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