why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
