Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
