TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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