I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
