God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
