I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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