Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
