it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
