He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize