GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
