Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
