...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't deserve a penis
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
