I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
