We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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