I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
