i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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