No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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