try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just forgot I was standing up.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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