no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
