ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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