and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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