if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
