I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
