Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
