She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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